Thursday, May 7, 2009

A Tale of Two Steroids

Two stories today, "Manny Ramirez Suspended for 50 Games for Violating Drug Policy" and "A-Rod to Return Friday." A sweet coincidence.

Manny was found to have been taking a women's fertility drug that induces testosterone production. It is also well-known to be used by steroid users as they come off the juice. Makes sense, right? If steroids bolster testosterone and you go cold turkey, you need something to produce your manly qualities.

Perhaps using women's drugs has also helped Manny's flowing locks. As I've mentioned before, I don't care. Manny has always been, and will continue to be, one of the greatest pure hitters of all-time. Yes, I said, pure. He is leaps and bounds above most of his peers, who more and more, are known drug users. I'm outraged that he will be missing from the scene until July 3, not that he is in violation of MLB's drug policy.

With that, welcome back A-Rod. Nothing made fans, and anti-fans, of your game miss you more than watching the abysmal performance of these Yankees. Without you in the lineup, these guys really suck. It took your disappearance to make the faithful realized how much you're needed. If I had to bet, you'll be roundly cheered upon your debut at the new Stadium. On the road, there's no hope. They hate you anyway.

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